Unbound Ambitions; Career. Relationships. Wellbeing

From Suppression to Self-Expression

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Have you ever felt pressured into playing a role that doesn't fit who you are?

Join me as we challenge the notion of being "tamed" by societal norms that stifle our true selves and limit our ambitions. This episode of Unbound Ambitions is a powerful call to recognize and break free from the subtle constraints that keep us bound. From the outdated belief that leadership requires harshness to the idea that empathy is a weakness, we dissect the ways these myths manifest in our personal and professional lives.

We'll explore the signs of living a tamed existence, such as sacrificing personal happiness for career success and overworking to prove our worth. I share personal stories that shed light on the quiet pressures women face to shrink their voices and conform to predefined roles.

If you've ever felt wrong about your choices or suppressed your authenticity to fit in, this conversation is for you. Tune in for thought-provoking questions and actionable insights to reclaim your voice and live a life that is both thriving and true to who you are.

For more information about my new book, Claws Out, Living in a World That Wants You Tamed, click here. 

Enjoy.

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Penelope Magoulianiti:

Welcome to Unbound Ambitions, the podcast where aspirations meet action, dreams fuel drive and every ceiling is just another floor to break through. Here we celebrate the power of persistence, explore the art of balancing career and personal life and unlock the secrets to growth and fulfillment. Whether climbing the corporate ladder, navigating entrepreneurship or finding harmony in your daily life, unbound Ambitions is your companion in journeying toward your highest goals. Join us as we get real about challenges, present valuable information and equip you with insights for a life that's as thriving as it is grounded. Because here we believe your ambitions are just the beginning. And now your host, Penelope Magoulianiti.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

Hello and welcome to another episode of Unbound Ambitions, and today's episode is all about breaking free. Breaking free from societal expectations, outdated beliefs and norms that keep us within a box, that keep us bound, and stop allowing others to decide what is good for us and what is good for our overall well-being. And the word tamed came to me while I was writing my new book and I was thinking what tamed means, what do I mean by tamed? And I came to this conclusion Tamed occurs when we feel the pressure to follow certain patterns and certain ideas when, deep down, we know that this is not what we are meant to do. And let me give you a couple of examples to make this even more clear. So, when you believe that you need to be harsh and strict to be a good leader, this is not, and you don't feel very comfortable with this belief, but someone or you observed someone that was doing it and you adopted it. This is tamed. Another example is when you think showing empathy is a weakness, or when you buy the myth that being feminine in business and I'm going to refer to corporate for this, because I used to live in that space so when you believe, when you buy the myth that being feminine is business, is a weakness. You are tamed.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

I want to ask you how often the world around you has made you feel wrong about your body? How often? I remember when I first started working, I had this manager that came to me and pointed out that I should stop wearing the clothes that I used to wear. I used to love skirts back then and, yes, maybe they were a little bit short now that I am recalling this, but I was 18 years old and he might have been right, but the way he told me it wasn't, he was implying something else. Another question that I would like you to think about. Another question that I would like you to think about in how many ways the world has shown you that being masculine is the way to go and be honest when you're answering this, when you're considering this question, and how many times have you been shown that you have to quit your voice, that what you have to say doesn't matter? This is exactly what I mean by being tamed when we are expected to suppress parts of ourselves, our ambition, our authenticity or personal desire so we can fit into pretty fine roles. This is when we are tamed, and I want you to think about this.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

Tamed is not just overt suppression. It's the constant, quiet pressure women face to shrink their voices, over-accommodate, to be liked and loved or bend to other expectations at the cost of their own ambitions and overall well-being. So let me give you some of the signs of being tamed. Every time you're playing small, you are tamed. When you feel the need to downplay your successes or hide your talents because you don't want to make others uncomfortable. Every time you overwork to prove your worth, you're tamed. If you're constantly feeling the need to go above and beyond to show that you are valuable, that you are worthy of that promotion, that you belong with the big boys club and you often do this at the expense of your health and well-being, but also at the expense of your relationship then you're tamed. Another sign is when you sacrifice your personal life for your career, when you miss out on meaningful personal moments. Maybe it's time with family, maybe you convince yourself you don't have time for self-care, or there is no time to pursue what you love outside of work. Every time you adopt the belief that success requires personal sacrifice. Is it true that success requires sacrifice and I believed, sacrificed my life for it Years ago.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

I was very upset and I remember it was just after New Year's, at the beginning of January, and I remember I had a fight with my husband or it was an argument. It wasn't a fight, it was an argument and I picked up my laptop, my notebook, my phone in one hand and on the other hand, I was holding my coffee and I chose to go to the office. My office is downstairs, down to the basement, and there are two ways to get to my office from inside and from outside, and I chose to take the outside route. No problem with that. The only problem it was that I chose the outside route by having my slippers on and it was raining. And I remember, like yesterday, the moment that I felt myself flying. I flew the last five steps and I landed on my back and I hit my head and I remember, while I was, it was like I was watching myself in slow motion and the thought I had was, please God, no, my kids, because I knew the way I landed.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

It wasn't good. They ran, they picked me up slowly they shouldn't, but they did. They took me to the doctor and he told me you were very lucky. Actually, you were one inch lucky. It nearly cost me my life because I wasn't paying attention, because I was so preoccupied with my to-do list. I was so preoccupied to prove myself to everybody, I was so preoccupied to succeed and I was burned out. I was so overwhelmed that I wasn't present. And this is when success becomes sacrifice. But it doesn't have to be this way, and the woman I am coaching and working with one way or another, feel the same. Some of us, we go to the sacrifice route by forgetting to rest and look after ourselves. Others jump on doing too much, believing that this is the way forward, and one of my clients, irene, chose the second option.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

Irene is a leader in two companies and her path to success was filled with many sacrifices. She told me once, for as long as I can remember, I had to work Due to various family issues. There was no other option than work, so in my case, there was no time for personal life. Getting married and having kids was out of the question. And she continued saying over the years, my attempt to establish myself professionally as a woman led me to work endless hours. I remember going to the office on holidays, working 12 hours per day, not taking vacations and having no time for anything else but work. These are the pressures that Irene faced, and they were multi-faced. If you are a single woman, you are considered a failure, she told me when I was younger. I had to prove every day that I deserved to be a career woman. Today I must prove it's okay to be a woman in her 50s and be single. And Irene, through her journey of transformation, realized that the most important thing is that I have now learned not to be concerned and influenced by what others expect and think about me. It's enough for me to be okay with myself. Irene's story underscores the complex interplay between societal expectations, career ambitions and personal fulfillment.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

But the truth is we all have the power to change all this. We all have the power to take back the ownership of our life. And we don't do it when we think of it. We have to decide to change and practice it every day. When you decide that you want to stop believing blindly, from now on you are going to work on what you want. When you decide that you are not selfish because you want a better life for yourself. When you decide that being your number one priority is so important because so many people are dependent on you and if you collapse, they're going to suffer. When you change the narrative of what you believe, then your entire world will change. What you believe, then your entire world will change and I know this is true because I've been there and I've done it and my are actionable steps and if you apply them, they are going to help you to begin reclaiming your power.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

So the first step is to recognize where you're playing small, and I would like to invite you to reflect on the moments where you have held yourself back, whether in meetings, in your relationship or even when you pursue your personal goals. Journaling in this situation can be a powerful tool, because when you write down your thoughts, you are able to observe how your brain works, and when you read back what you've written, you will start seeing the pattern of the stories that the mind creates to keep you where you are. Another way is to set boundaries without guilt. Setting boundaries in both your personal and professional life will help you avoid burnout and look after yourself instead. And boundaries are a sign and listen to this boundaries are a sign of self-respect, not weakness. The message we give when we set boundaries is I respect myself enough to say no. And something extraordinary happens. When we learn to respect our boundaries, others learn to respect us more. It's like magic.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

The third thing that I want to share with you is to get clear on what success means to you, and it's important to know that what you want for yourself is what success means to you, and not what others want for you. So I would like to invite you to challenge societal definitions of success. What are the messages that you've heard about success from your parents, your teachers and your culture? Did they have two different definitions of what success means, one for the men and one for the women? Maybe, and I would like to urge you to ask yourself this question what does success look like for me? Okay, if you have to let go of other people's opinions on success, how will it look like for you?

Penelope Magoulianiti:

The fourth thing is to practice self-compassion. Don't be impatient. Growth takes time and breaking out of limiting patterns doesn't happen overnight. You must be patient and show kindness towards yourself, because I can tell you that true transformation might seem simple, but it's not easy. You have been thinking and doing certain things in a certain way for years. Throughout these years, it became a habit, and right now I'm asking you to start operating differently. It will take some time, so be patient and have self-compassion for whatever comes up during this journey. And, lastly, it is very important to have people around you who understand you and are willing to support you.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

Support can come in many forms. It can be in the form of a mentor, a coach or a group of like-minded women. Community is key in this journey, and that's why I am starting mine soon and I know that I have been talking about this for some time now but I want to create something good, a community where there is value and support. So bear with me for a little bit longer and I will let you know when I'm going to be ready to open up this community and invite you in it.

Penelope Magoulianiti:

So, before I close this episode, I would like to tell you that in the next episode, next week, I will dive deeper into the ROAR framework, which is a powerful tool that I have created for women like you and me who are ready to reclaim their voice and start living authentically. To reclaim their voice and start living authentically. The ROAR framework stands for Recognize, own, act and Redefine, and we will go through each component next week. Until then, much love. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of Unbound Ambitions. I hope you found inspiration and courage to start your journey of transformation. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review and share it with other women who could benefit from this message. As I have already mentioned, my new book Claws Out, Thriving in a World that Wants you Tamed is available on .

Penelope Magoulianiti:

Amazon you can buy your copy and play your free resources. You will find the link in the notes, in the episode notes. Until then, look after yourself.